Why? Why Not? Who cares? Who doesn't?

Alright...

2011-10-16T22:57:00.000-07:00

Everything is backed up completely, so everything is fine, but an external hard drive just died with a bunch of Visionary stuff on it.

When you think about making a movie... a feature... you don't think about any of the technical craziness. But I can tell anyone reading this first hand, that the technical behind the scenes stuff with computers and hard drives and computers and programs and computers is at least, AT LEAST 80% of the movie-making process.

I spent about, MAYBE 400 hours on set making this movie.

I have spent, without a doubt, EASILY over 2000 hours building this movie on the computer. Easily. Probably a lot more.

When and how a movie really comes together is something that every single person overlooks, including myself. I've drawn my fair share of pictures. I've recorded my fair share of music. I've written my fair share of papers. The amount of work I've put into all of those things combined may not even compare with this movie. My whole life.

So the next time you watch a movie, think about that. Think about all of the people who worked countless hours tweaking the actors dialogue to make it sound perfect. Think about all of the people who sat there day and night focusing on the actors skin color and making it look perfect in every shot. Think about all of the people who spent months digitally creating all of the little details that make each shot look pretty. And think about everything that went wrong. All of the footage that didn't make the cut. All of the organizing. All of the work. Think about that.

Making a movie isn't easy. It's not. Try it. It's not easy.

...BUT....

It's worth it.

This movie will be worth it. Easily worth it.

Producing

2011-10-13T02:11:00.000-07:00

Producing is being smart about choosing wether to appear as somebody who succeeds or as somebody who struggles, and being good at doing both.

Say Anything You Believe

2011-09-18T01:21:00.000-07:00

If you want to say something, and have somebody listen to you...

Say anything you want, as long as you really do believe in it, and as long as you are willing to put energy behind it.

If you are 100% confident something can be so, it will be so.

Becoming so confident is the most powerful thing a person can do. (I'm 100% confident of it.)

Now go.

What is written > How it's written

2011-09-12T01:58:00.000-07:00

First, you can choose either a pen, or a pencil or a marker. You may decide to erase something, but you can cross it out. From there, you show it to someone and they like it. You like it. You take it and decide to draw it. You look at it for the first time from a different perspective. Something new about it presents itself. You decide to explore further what the best way to see it is. After a few tries, you find a style for it. You step away from it. You look around at other things. You hear other things. You are inspired. You come back. You still like it. You see where it can improve. You apply your inspirations. You don't feel quite right about it, so you change it back to how you had it, then finally you find a compromise. You perfect it. You take it and ask other to help you with it. You build a team, and you allow them to help you understand what else it can be, and why it should change. You choose when to agree or disagree with your team. But you choose for you, because it is important that it is yours. You struggle with it. You obsess over it. But you only struggle because you are proud of it. You realize that. You are happy with it. You and your team start to build it. Some of your team loses interest, and you wonder if you are wasting your time. You step back again. You look at it. You ask other people outside and inside your team to look at it with you. Some don't like it and some do like it. You remember again that you like it, and you are doing it for you. You move forward with making it. You start to spend a lot more time on it than you had ever imagined you would. Your worry of wasting your time increases, but you realize you are enjoying yourself. You begin to ask yourself if you are insane. You decide you are not insane. Your team begins putting almost as much time as you do into it, and you begin to work to satisfy them. As you work, you realize that you have got to pace yourself. You remember that you are doing it for you and that to make it the best it can be you have to slow down and concentrate. Your team wants to speed up. You start to lose focus of what it is and try to figure out ways to make it faster. You figure out a way, but then you realize that if you make it that way, it won't be right. You figure that you've come so far on it, that you should do it right. People begin to really appreciate what you are doing. They start asking questions, like, "What is it?" "Can I have it?" "How can I be a part of it?" Some people start calling it theirs. Some people start getting more attention for it than you do. Some people start trying to change it behind your back. You have to go back and fix what they changed so it's yours again. You realize that you have to set up regulations around it. You have to begin doing things you would have never dreamed of just to gain control over it again. You have to start manipulating people to think that they are in control, just so they keep a good attitude towards making it. You have come so far with your team and added more teammates along the way. Your original team has the most of your trust with it, and you reach out to them for help. You get close to finishing it, and you begin to feel an unexpected excitement. You start to assume the rest of your team feels exactly what you feel, but then you realize you are the only one who feels how you feel. You find ways to be content with that realization. You become the most content when you remember that you made it for you. But then you start to question if you've made it for you, or for other people. You wonder if there is even a particular reason as to why you did make it. Then you realize that regardless it should get finished. You didn't make it... you're making it. You get back to work. Your team surprises you. They share your determination. You try not to take them for granted while staying focused on working both together with them, and independently of them. You step back again. You are amazed at what you have made, so far. You do not feel like you have worked as hard as you did. You realize how hard you have worked. You are proud of yourself. You make a decision for the first time as to exactly what the final version of it will be like. You make new sets of goals to complete it, and you achieve those goals. You finish it. You announce it's finished. You realize you didn't finish it. You finish it. You check it. You double check it. You search it up and down for any way you can improve it. You see absolutely no more ways you can improve it after searching thoroughly. You step away from it. You look at it. You know it is finished. You accept that it's finished. It is finished. And for the first time, you are able to purely enjoy it. It brings you more joy than you had ever thought it would bring you. You fully appreciate all of the work that you and your team put into it. You start showing it to everyone you can. You will have it your entire life. It will affect everyone who it reaches. Because of you, it will exist forever.

What is written is "it". It is an idea. "It" will not change. It will stay consistent. It is what drives you, and you are committed to it. You have it, because of "it".

What is your "it"?

The 3rd Street Promenade

2011-02-24T16:11:00.000-08:00

I just had an idea. Here it is...

In Santa Monica, there is a very popular shopping area called "3rd Street Promenade". Basically it is a walking-only street that spans about three blocks, with various stores and restaurants. One of the things this strip is best known for, however, is the street performers. They are usually very good, and there are all kinds... dancers, singers, full bands, magicians, acrobats and more. There are usually about five performers on the Promenade at all times, spaced out perfectly across the entire stretch. Some are more popular than others (Crowds of over 100 people form instantly for some, others have no audience at times). Generally, each performer has to acquire a permit (only $37), and then contact the Bayside District Corporation to book themselves. I have heard from a couple sources that they require an audition, but I am not 100% sure if that is true. Either way, Bayside seems to be the corporation that handle everything and the performers are one of their largest marketing assets, clearly.

Each time I visit the promenade, I see some new performer. The more I see, the more I begin to fit them together in my mind like a puzzle. Recently I came up with a possible combination of 2 specific guitarists, a beat-boxer, a singer and a group of dancers who, if working together with some practice, could be incredible to watch.

This leads me to my idea...

I started thinking that if I contacted Bayside, and pitched the idea of putting on a monthly stage event, "The Best of the Promenade" or "The Best of 3rd Street" (Can't decide which rings better), they would probably be interested enough to fund a small banner-advertisement campaign for it. The idea is that such an event would bring more business to the promenade on the day it was held. Also, the performers alone would advertise such an event, if they were involved, even without a paper ad campaign.

Right now in my head, this is how it would work...

1. I pitch the idea to Bayside, just as an if/then. (If I can organize it, will you support it?)

2. I approach the street performers and see if they have any interest.

3. Set any interested performers up with each other, and suggest some work together- see what teamwork brings.

4. When the performers feel confident pulling off the big show, organize a meeting with the performers and Bayside to schedule out the first event. Seek budgeting from Bayside to provide a temporary stage and sound system.

5. Advertise and execute the first event.

The event would be a free concert of the promenade performers, combining acts, yet keeping some solo, depending. Possibly a two-stage setup would be best. The crowds would be massive. The performers would be spotlighted and marketed a LOT better than usual. If the event ran monthly, it would become famously known, and the performers would strive to be a part of it each month.

The absolute key to success is combining the acts. That would be the draw, as people are familiar with many individual acts, and would be excited and delighted to see them harmonizing with each other on stage once a month.

That's my idea for the day. Maybe I'll contact Bayside soon to explore this further.

Fancy Hollywood Bars are Lame

2011-01-23T17:18:00.000-08:00

Some italian hit-man looking dude at a bar last night told me "If you're going to be an asshole I will punch you in the face, you know?" Five minutes later, he offered to buy me a drink and I declined. Also some girl who I didn't know offered to buy me a drink before she even said hello. I said no and left. Then my friend bought me a drink without even asking me. I put it down before I had any of it because I was participating in a chair lift (Jewish wedding style- my idea), which would have been fun but the people in suits told us to stop. My drink was gone when I got back. In a place where the cheaper beer is $6 per, I finally I decided to buy myself a $6 drink (and not tip because screw these people), but the bar was closed. After this experience, I've decided to never decline another offer. I've also decided that fancy bars are lame. The drinks are expensive, nobody likes fun and nobody swims in the pool.

Art and Love and Humans

2010-12-10T00:32:00.000-08:00

Defining art is a bad idea.

Well, sometimes.

I often start arguing about art... why a film, song, poem, painting, etc. is good or bad (in my opinion). But that's just the thing. My opinion. And frankly, my opinions (sometimes) are not what is best for the person or people I am arguing with.

Like right now, for instance. This blog. It's just me sharing some idea I have. You might agree, maybe not. But I AM able to realize that, and that that's OK.

I'm me. I'm not you. I'm me. And you are not me.

I sort of realized tonight that the right answer to any point ever made about art or love is always, "it depends", or "sometimes".

You just can't be sure of anything with those two things, EXCEPT that SOMETIMES there's a chance anything could affect someone.

Specifically, I have been defined lately. Literally, people have been arguing about ME right in front of me, about what I am- what I do. How I do it. It's a pretty strange thing, when people talk about you- categorize you- analyze you, and you're there for it.

I don't know who I am. So how can anyone else? Figuring out who I am... is my whole life. So what are people talking about, anyways?

And same goes for anyone.

Everyone is different. People are always learning and shifting and (sometimes) staying the same. But no two people are identical, right? I mean, that's factual, isn't it? No two fingerprints are alike... no two brains. Right?

So, if that is right... if everyone is different, then everyone is going to disagree on SOMETHING, even if it's as simple as what something feels like on their fingertips. Right?

But that's a part of life. That's pretty cool. You just never know. You don't KNOW anything, really... except for how you feel, presently- and for your (sometimes) vivid sensual memories.

Some things, you can't define. Those things are important. They are ambiguous. And they need to be. There is no GENERALLY "good" or "bad" art. All art is good and bad, SOMETIMES.

The most studied writers in the world might fall short to a child (in some people's opinions). Some people might prefer the intellectual novel. It depends.

And so in creating art- I think that is something to consider. It depends. Some people might want to see a personal side of you. Some people might want to see something impersonal. Some people might want to see you study and study and present to them a contextually sound, polished work of art. Some people might find more enjoyment in your mistakes and uncertainty. Neither one is better. They both work (sometimes). It varies from piece to piece. It does.

A lot of people may argue that you'll be a better artist if you study other artists and learn from them. I don't really agree. I think that SOMETIMES that kind of thing can benefit your art. But I also think that SOMETIMES it's better to be unaware. And I don't really think that any art is BETTER than other art. I think some art is more contextually square than other art. I think some art is more aesthetically pleasing than other art. I think some art is more obvious than other art. I think some art is more emotional than other art. I think some art is more intelligent than other art. But I respect all art on the same plane. I respect and envy a young child's stick figure drawing of his or her parents an EQUAL amount as I do a painting by Leonardo Da Vinci. Nothing is better than anything, except for within the opinions of individuals.

That's what I think.

Alright.

Goodnight.

Holly Wad

2010-10-28T14:58:00.000-07:00

One of the first things they said to me when I walked into work on my first day about 2 months ago was "do not talk to anyone about what you see here until you are done- do not post anything regarding work online." So, I can't blog about Usher. But what I can say is that I'm beginning to accomplish what I came here to do. The land of opportunity does have quite a bit.

Cheers.

From Deep in LA Land

2010-09-27T02:37:00.000-07:00

Things are happening, here. The weeks are flying by. Doesn't seem like I've been in CA over a month already, but I have. The 40 hour work week speeds things up.

As far as the movie goes, we are planning on having it finished sometime late November- The Fighter has it's premiere in December, so that's my honest goal. Our lead actress, Melissa, has a key role in The Fighter and will be able to make connections [potentially huge ones]. Very exciting stuff.

Now a vent: The closer and closer we get, and the wider and wider we spread, the less and less fluff I'm going to start shoveling people. To get a movie made for practically free, you have to be extremely nice to everyone even when they are making your life miserable. Every obstacle must be overcome with a solution that caters to the people helping you and take hits left and right with a big smile. In playing this game, people start to get the impression that you are all kinds of different things you are not, and you are forced to smile and watch as people complain and whine and put little to no effort into your project. But they do it if you keep your smile. They always do it if you're nice to them and reassure them. But then... OH, but then... when shooting is just about done, and you have a trailer online, and people start to realize, oh- wow. Wait a minute, this is pretty cool! Yeah, hey guys check it out- look what I am a part of! Look at this movie. Then that's where the shift starts to happen, you see. Because it is at that point where people get all sorts of crazy. Suddenly the tables turn and you are the one being asked for favors. Am I going to be on IMDB? Will I be credited as such and such? Will I get any money? When can I have my scenes? Ah. And now, ladies and gentleman, comes the point in time where I finally get to tell everyone what I really thought all this time. And this, in the past few weeks, has been, and continues to be one of the most liberating and refreshing things I have ever experienced. It's strange how the most difficult and unhelpful people are the ones that tend to feel the most entitled. Not only is it strange, but it is also sad. Telling off people who deserve it is awesome! And answering people's questions with, "Nope. Sorry"... IS AWESOME. Talk about some feel good times. And people... Nobody should feel entitled yet. Literally nobody. That includes me. The movie hasn't come out yet. It could still turn out to be terrible. Let's just all talk after we screen a cut. That's when I want to talk business with all of you: after we screen a finished cut. Not before. Kindly, all of you, leave me alone until we're finished. That goes for Brian and Steve and Justin too. We all appreciate it. We really do. But none of us want to see any requests for any favors big or small until we are done. We are not Universal Studios.

And can I please say thank you to those who I will forever be paying my debt to- those who really have believed in this film from the beginning, instead of just recently starting to. People like Brian, Steve, the Friedens, Melissa, and most people. About 80% of people have been wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. And the appreciation I have for those %80 is made larger by the other 20%. Phew. Even in a blog it feels good.

So check it out- I just got the hard drive back from Brian with all the footage. I am locking myself away for the rest of the week and editing. Brian shot some cool NYC footage this past weekend. There are a few more things to shoot that him and Steve will be pushing to get done in the next month- the exteriors are just about wrapped and we're looking pretty solid as far as beating the weather. We've added a few more cool scenes and stuff just to continue to play to our strengths. If anyone who has read any version of the script is reading, know that we have changed it so much at this point you can basically disregard everything. It is completely for the better. This movie has evolved into a very strange thing. Brace yourself for some weird, weird stuff.

Okay. LA update, check. Massive vent, check. Short film update, check. Going to bed. Thanks for reading my ramblings everyone!

California

2010-08-23T15:10:00.000-07:00

Moved to Culver City a few days ago... Things I have learned so far:

1. People drive in fast stop/go spurts, to the point where it's frightening. There is no smooth sailing on these roads...

2. People here are extreme. If someone's representing something, they are representing it COMPLETELY. I have heard from a lot of people that this place is filled with judgement. So far, I have actually seen the opposite. Of course, I've only been here a few days, but people here seem to be VERY liberal, and very non-judgmental. This overall attitude seems to be the reason people feel free to fully express themselves. It's actually kind of liberating to be around this culture.

3. There are a strange amount of donut shops.

4. There's was instantly something to do, and there will always be something to do, and if you pay attention you CAN avoid spending ridiculous amounts of money. There are cheap options here.

5. Street parking is free almost everywhere, which is cool. But street parking is hard to find in busier sections- extremely hard to find. But there are parking garages almost everywhere that have very low day rates ($5 or $10), and if you park for less than 2 hours in them, it's free. So these parking garages are sort of a way of life. Pretty different from Boston, where you might as well just get a ticket if you're going to park in a garage...

6. I held a door for a cop yesterday and he said "Thanks bro" and threw a peace sign. The cops here are weirdly nice- also different from back home.

7. Everyone is a salesman here... it's hilarious how outwardly salesy people are.

8. It doesn't hit you at all when you're at a famous landmark. Every place I've been so far has been a famous landmark, but I usually haven't even picked up on it until it was pointed out. Almost every street is famous for instance, but they all stretch on forever and are all normal looking and all full of normal looking places (which are sometimes famous places). I think because there are SO many famous locations, none of them are heavily advertised as famous, and it definitely throws you off a little when you first start driving around.

9. More homeless people and skateboarders here than anywhere. Visited the Venice skate park a couple days ago and there are just crowds of people watching skaters skate around the bowls. Skating is huge here, a way of life for many, and it's even heavily advertised.

10. Maybe this has been only my experiences so far, but people are always talking- talking to strangers like you know them is a little more normal than back home. I was sitting in a bar last night at about 1:15 AM, which is 4:15 AM back home, so needless to say I was fighting to stay alert. I was kind of just sitting there at the bar, and there was this woman next to me talking on and on about something regarding her husband, and how she was mad- or something. I eventually glanced over to get a look at her and realized she had been talking to me the whole time. And she kept going. I had no idea what was going on... I never said hello to this woman. She was just looking me right in the eyes and talking to me very seriously about how she was going to get a divorce. She was a normal looking person. She seemed alright- not like she was crazy or anything. So I just started to hold eye contact and nod and laugh, until eventually she finished her story, explained she was leaving, told me to have a good night, and walked away. It was one of the most surreal things I think I've ever experienced.

Anyway, more LA reports soon... looking forward to seeing what comes next. Enjoying myself so far.

Movie Families

2010-08-15T22:09:00.000-07:00

I've been taking some time today to think about all of the things I have to make the most of before I head to LA on Friday... One of them is most definitely the free food, which I am digging into right now. It's going to be a change for the worse not having my mom delivering me all kinds of cooked meals all the time for SURE. I'm also thinking about breaking my car one more time just to have my dad fix it one last time before I go... well, not really. But I will miss being spoiled, is my point.

Have a pre-wrap party coming up on Wednesday for the film- probably going to be the last time I see anyone for a while. It's going to be a bit weird to be all of a sudden seperated from everyone. There was a moment today when I was outside in the front of our location in Hudson (a beautiful victorian home with a massive green flowery yard), and I was watching little Sophie dancing around barefoot (she loves being barefoot) and spinning her dress, and Melissa (who would keep a much better blog than me) writing her daily diary entry into her composition book over at her car... and Sophie's dad with a big smile on his face and Brian walking around the yard looking for a good shot of the house... I'm going to miss being around my movie family. My movie family is wonderful. I couldn't have imagined going into this that I'd luck out so well with such amazing people. The Friedens have quite literally changed my outlook on a lot of things for the better. They are an inspiring family. Steve has mentioned on more than one occasion that they make him wish he had kids, and he's very serious when he says that. Steve is another inspiration... in the matter of a few months, he became one of the most natural and focused actors I know. It's overwhelming how well he did with this character. He will be turning a lot, a LOT of heads. When you step back and analyze this movie for what it is... you can genuinely feel the love pour out of it. I think that is more evident in the actual footage than people realize. The characters are connecting in a unique way in this film, because they all really do love eachother in real life. That's special. And it works. We have made a good movie, here. Despite moving miles away, and seperate paths we'll take... this movie will always hold it's family together. That's one of the best things about making a movie... it's permanent. You always, always have it. A very, very unique kind of photo album. Come November, we'll all have one.

Cheers.

New trailer is up!

2010-08-02T23:29:00.000-07:00

New trailer is up on the site and our youtube page! Enjoy. Tell a friend!

http://www.youtube.com/user/thevisionarymovie

www.TheVisionaryFilm.com

Huge Success!

2010-07-29T20:57:00.000-07:00

Photos speak for themselves...

Jib shots, check.

Prop camera rig shots, check.

Incredibly bizarre makeup, check.

Otherworldly costumes, check.

Phenomenal dancers with routine, check.

Albino snake, check.

Tons of prop equipment, tents and an Airstream trailer, check.

Overall wonderful performances, check.

Overall wonderful photography, check.

Awesome lighting, check.

Sounds good? Check.

Fully recorded songs, check.

Perfect locations, check.

B-roll, check.

WHAT JUST HAPPENED!? ...Check.

Thank you to everyone involved with this film! That was a huge obstacle that we just trampled. On to the home stretch... Let's go out with a bang!

Huge Weekend Ahead

2010-07-20T00:01:00.000-07:00

And now... there is a calm before the storm.

While shooting and now cutting some scenes together has been going smooth, it is about to go from, "yeah, we're making a movie" to "We're making The Visionary!"

"Epic shoots" 1, 2 and 3, as we've been calling them, are shooting this Friday through Monday. This is a make or break weekend. What's it gonna be? Make? Yeah, definitely make.

Anyone is welcome to help. Literally. Please email us AT thevisionarycasting@gmail.com

Cheers!

Ben

Trailer Re-post

2010-06-29T23:51:00.000-07:00

Just reposted the trailer with some touch-ups after realizing how critical the thing is and how much potential there is for big deal Hollywood people viewing it. Ah, that feels better. It's newly up at www.youtube.com/user/thevisionarymovie

Now off to bed. Going on the air for an interview with Robin Ann Peters early tomorrow about the film. I must represent Nashua, if it's the last thing I do!

Oh, before I post this I should include: If anyone has a large tent or trailer of any kind and is (hopefully) feeling generous, I need plenty of both to use as set props for a day or two in upcoming scenes. It would be a huge, HUGE help! Thanks!

An Important Filmmaking Motto

2010-06-28T21:52:00.000-07:00

The outcome is far more important than the process.

Wrapping late, bad takes, making it work because you're poor, homemade equipment, arguments, bad smells... stuff breaking... none of that stuff goes on a resume. And if your film is good in the end, everyone forgets all that stuff ever happened, also.

Wrapping early, having money and fancy equipment, maintaining on set happiness, staying organized, executing a perfect workflow and staying comfortable... none of that goes on your resume either. And if the film sucks in the end, then everyone forgets all that stuff ever happened, also.

Now... I'm off to go do more stuff I'm gonna forget I ever did.

Good night artists.

On Set in Danvers

2010-06-26T23:13:00.000-07:00

It's about 3 AM in the morning. We just wrapped for the night- much more to do in the morning. A few bonding moments going on right now amongst the crew. I like them. They don't know I'm blogging about them right now. Good times tonight, and Justin Marra owned the shoot hands down. We sort of let Steve just go on a complete ad-libbing tangent with his lines... and drink some serious amounts of wine. The results, contrary to what one may have suspected with such circumstances, was some of the most magically believable and haunting deliveries I have ever seen, followed by Melissa's perfect facial expressions. Good shoot. Okay, Ashley wants to show me something "funny", so goodnight!

I learn something on every shoot. Maybe someday I'll know everything... I hope that day is tomorrow. That would be cool.

2010-06-22T22:18:00.000-07:00

Good, people are getting excited now. I have a feeling that more doors are certainly about to open for us. Trailer is doing it's job.

I did a bit more crew stuff today on the hospital shoot and all of a sudden we were in rapid-fire mode. Maybe I should stop sitting around so much on set. It's weird how a smaller crew is sometimes much more proficient. Hmm. Learning I am, with this whole "making movies" thing.

Excitement, Intrigue, Disgust

2010-06-21T20:30:00.000-07:00

The Visionary's 1st trailer released today. You can watch it by following this link:

http://www.youtube.com/user/TheVisionaryMovie

We, I guess you could say, hastily put it together because we desperately needed it to pin down some assets. I'm starting now to think that maybe it's too creepy and it will backfire, because certain people might actually NOT want to be represented that way. Maybe we should have cut a much happier trailer...

Regardless, what I am learning more and more is that this movie, even in trailer form, is going to be extremely controversial. I knew this going in, but after receiving all the texts, emails and posts today, it's very apparent how black and white this is. Either people are going to love this, or they are going to hate this.

The film is very admittedly twisted. It's gross. It has a repulsive theme. To some people, that is what makes it a good story- it's freudian, disturbing and still realistic nature. To some people, that's exactly what makes it bad... Of COURSE it's a complete matter of opinion. And there you have it. That's controversy.

I love it. The whole idea, I love. I love it because it's press. All press is good. As Steve said to me, and he could be very right about this, the people that hate this movie are the ones who are going to make it popular. I don't really know what to expect as we move forward with this, but I can't wait to find out!

In the meantime, to everyone who expresses concern, little Sophie, my lead actor playing Ava, is not being exposed to anything. She hasn't even seen the end of this trailer. One of the magical things that goes with shooting a movie is that you can shoot one shot one day, and then shoot another shot on a completely different day, and then cut them together. That is essentially what we are doing. Before we started shooting, I organized a filtered script for her to study, without any language or violence. So everything is safe! Thank you for the concern, though!

Overall, I'm glad to see the rapid intrigue. I hope that you all keep talking! Spread the word! (That includes you, negative critics!)

What just happened?

2010-06-14T00:12:00.000-07:00

My Saturday began with a few of us sitting in a circle on my deck with our heads in our hands, seriously considering calling the shoot we had scheduled for the day completely off... we were not at all ready. That was at 9 AM.

Fast forward...

Driving home well after midnight, we had shot something BETTER than I originally imagined it could be. We went over on time by a handful of hours. It was late when we wrapped, to be sure. However, as Steve would put it, "No joke, man", that was the best thing I've shot, to date. That was the best scene I have ever shot. I'm hoping everyone involved feels the same... but I definitely without question feel as though that was the most powerful thing I have on my resume.

A+ Art department

A+ Actors

A+ Makeup

A+ Crew

A+ Costumes

C- Graduation Party Next Door

Oh... and a big, big love to "Craft Services" ;)

Perfect. Perfect when there was no way it could have been. Somehow, I really don't know how- but somehow, it was perfect.

Cheers.

Expensive Equipment Does Not Equal Good Movies. Creativity Equals Good Movies.

2010-06-10T22:13:00.000-07:00

Okay... there should be rules.

A filmmaker shouldn't be allowed to set up more than 2 flags and 2 bounces for a shot unless...

1. They are famous

2. The film consists of only one shot

3. All of the other lighting equipment broke, including the sun

4. The film is already in the public eye

A filmmaker shouldn't post more than 10 behind the scenes photos of their elaborate and usually unnecessary lighting set-ups unless...

1. They are famous

2. The shot is going to look at least ten times as good as the photos

3. The shot requires dangerous stunts by the crew or actors

4. There is something going on behind the scenes that is more exciting than simply elaborate equipment.

A filmmaker should never spend more than $100,000 on a film unless...

1. They are famous

2. They are at LEAST 50% confident they will make their money back

To all of you rich and snobby (un-famous, un-profitable) filmmakers out there...

1. Take your time... I mean REALLY take your time to write or find a good script.

2. Your fancy equipment and your all union cast and crew don't speak for themselves.

3. Stop giving everyone false hope.

4. Go away. You're getting in the way of us poor creative people.

5. If not go away, then help us! You have money and we have ideas. We can work together to make a good film! Stop over-lighting your own bad scripts with mediocre framing and bad direction.

We're rolling.

2010-06-06T22:00:00.000-07:00

Blog time.

Just got back from shooting all day. We are really starting to come together. Over the past couple of weeks, the crew on this film has grown from a small handful of us, to a full crew of ten or more dedicated key positions. We now have everything covered from sound to media management. This is good. The result is higher quality footage. Today, we shot 3 scenes. Everything seemed to go perfectly.

By the way, my cast (and families of cast) are still phenomenal. I have never been more impressed by a ten year old, and by the pure dedication of Melissa. There isn't a more dedicated core group of actors I could have gathered up. I am completely fortunate there. We are making a great film so far, really, really for real.

Next week we get underway with Evalena, and this is exciting because it will really mark the first "surreal", "bizarre" aspects being shot for the film. I can't wait to see what we can pull off with our ever-growing art-department. It's really going to give us the trailer footage we've been hurting for. And it's going to send everyone involved into a heavy wave of excitement. I believe in next weekend. Our marketing is just about ready to take off. We need a website. Now. I'm on it.

House shot on 5D

2010-05-19T08:50:00.000-07:00

Tune into House tonight. They shot the finale with the same camera (5D, we have the 7D- only small, small differences) Brian and I are shooting with:

http://www.petapixel.com/2010/05/17/house-finale-filmed-with-the-canon-5d-mark-ii-airs-tonight/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+PetaPixel+%28PetaPixel%29

Things are coming together...

2010-05-18T10:45:00.000-07:00

Despite feeling like everything is in slow motion, it's nice to take a step back and realize, well... it's really not. We have already shot a few full scenes. Audio is still an issue, but I am feeling better and better about doing things in post- apparently every European film up until the late 70's/early 80's was completely, 100% done in post (the sound). That's a strange fun face I didn't know until recently... but it's almost relieving. At least I know I'm not screwed.

I just had one of my actors actually not show up the other day. That was a first. Luckily, we didn't have to scrap the scene because Herbert, the new guy who just came on as Nick, called up Jonathan, another actor who I had recently seen in Evalena's film, Serena and the RATTS, and at LITERALLY the last minute Jonathan came on board and drove on over to do the scene, glancing at the lines in his car. The dude somehow had the lines down about an hour into shooting and pulled it off. We were only out a half hour late. It was the most heroic thing I have ever witnessed. We really came together that day. Everyone just buckled down and worked through the entire scene, finishing it in about two hours. I still can't believe we got through it. Poor Jonathan, who JUST walked on, stuck with it through the chaos and dealt with me firing directions at him the minute he walked through the door. I'm meeting with him and Evalena in Boston tonight for a milkshake or two. It will be good to actually get to know him after an insane shoot! The man is a hero.

Other than that, this stuff is looking really good. It LOOKS like a real deal, big budget film (Thanks to Brian Way, our camera, and everyone coming together)- pretty cool. This thing is rolling. I like it.

IN OTHER NEWS, I just met with Kim Spaziani last night, who has been designing costumes for big local plays, wedding dresses and prom dresses for years and years. She's fully on board to make our costumes. She's exciting! I am putting together a huge instructional document for her now, and these things are going to start getting pumped out! This is amazingly good. And I'm happy (VERY).

More soon, blog readers.

Justin Marra is Awesome

2010-05-06T08:00:00.000-07:00

I just received this email from Justin Marra:

So Nick can do the morning, and the Waitress can do before 3, so if we're doing the diner it needs to be an 8-1 shoot. Ava's good for the whole day so pending Rita and Sean's availability we can do a "pleasant neutral location" that day as well. use your imagination and see if you can figure out where that scene can take place appropriately and on sunday. and if you can call Sean to find out his availability, and then tell him that ill be calling him from now on that'd be good.

So Ben Proulx's punch list for today:
- Lock a diner to shoot at on Sunday morning til 1
- Decide on a location for the conference room scene
- Decide on a location for the noir desk
- Call Sean and determine availability Sunday afternoon

.....This is probably the best email I have received for this production so far. Justin is taking charge! It's so awesome. I am so happy. Woo!

Ava's Audition Song

2010-05-03T12:08:00.000-07:00

Lying in bed last night strumming chords, trying to fall to sleep= Ava's audition song.

Wrote it in my head in like ten minutes. It's about a little bird. I still like it today. Anticipate it.

All of the lyrical music for The Visionary is now completely written.

On the Bus back to Boston. Why Not Blog?

2010-04-25T20:17:00.000-07:00

On the Bolt bus right now, from NY to Boston. This bus is decent. They have wifi, outlets and pretty good leg room (which is a huge deal for me). Worth the ride for $15. On the ride down to NY on Saturday I had LITERALLY the fastest talking girl sitting in front of me and she didn't take a breath. A SAG signatory and wanted EVERYONE to know. That was terrible. But this ride is much more peaceful. I did rip a hole about 12 inches long in my jeans though as I was boarding- led to some obscure small talk, so eh, blessing in disguise.

I just read an email from Becky (Sophie/Ava's mom) that she heard back from a writer for Hollywood East Connection who is interested in doing an article about The Visionary upon it's completion. That could be wonderful for marketing, and I'm pretty excited about that!

I didn't end up shooting anything in NYC this weekend (which worked out because it rained anyway), but still made the trip to visit some good friends. Got to love the night life in that city. For those who haven't experienced it, I highly recommend you do! It's great for someone on my schedule, also. With bars open until 4 AM, fairly cheap 24 hour cabs and trains, I can never complain. Nick Giaquinto (my good friend and a great jib op/tech and DP, helping with The Visionary) and I took a walk to B&H Photo, who I have ordered from, but never actually experienced the store before. What a store! Talk about a playground. I felt like a little kid! I was able to touch the Red One for the first time, and man, what a gorgeous camera that thing is. With all the hype, I know this should be obvious, but actually being able to play with one is a treat. Really though, it was like the camera store-equivalent to Willy Wanka's chocolate factory: working conveyer belts all over the ceiling with outgoing shipments, free refreshments, and crazy top of the line equipment everywhere.

Should be back in Boston around 2:15 AM, then a decent walk (Boston does NOT have 24 hour trains) to Wentworth from South Station (about 3 miles) to crash at my brother's dorm- I feel bad about having to wake him up so late to let me in, he's got my back this weekend! It's good to have a brother, and good to have one who happens to live in Boston. Tomorrow it's back to reality, and continuing to conquer this film step by step... full lists to tackle. It was a much needed NYC weekend though with Brooke and Ari, and I even got to see Kristen too! All people I'd been dying to get together with lately.

Well, off to do some bus sleeping- maybe... probably not.

Cheers readers! And by the way, thanks for reading.

Articles from Lauren!

2010-04-22T21:17:00.000-07:00

Thanks to my good friend Lauren, this movie is being read about in more and more places! Check out these articles she has written and released regarding The Visionary! (Disclaimer: They admittedly make me sound like a bigger, scarier deal than I actually am!)

Local Director to Begin Production on Feature-length Film The Visionary

By Lauren Bancroft

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

NASHUA, N.H. - “Quiet on the set!” yelled a Producer, ready to forcibly remove anyone who dared ruin the take.

The anxious cast and crew arrived at dusk that Saturday night. Firefighters, emergency medical technicians and over a hundred onlookers waited while the camera was positioned, the lights were set and the actors rehearsed. Still, in all the commotion, it was easy to see who is at the center of it all: Ben Proulx, Director. Dozens of people surrounded him, afraid to move a muscle without being told to first.

Proulx looked around at the crowd that had gathered behind the camera. He saw the hundreds of people who were hanging on his every word just off screen. He then turned his attention to his camera's viewfinder and calmly uttered, “Whenever you’re ready.”

Getting to watch a film director work is a rare treat, especially for a resident of southern New Hampshire. Because film and TV production finds itself most comfortable in big cities, the average person doesn't get an opportunity to visit a movie set, let alone participate in the movie making process often. But in the summer of 2008, that is exactly what many citizens of Nashua got to do.

Local filmmaker Ben Proulx, now 23, sent out a call to the people of Nashua requesting assistance with making the MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving) backed feature film Wrecked. This graduate of Nashua High School South along with co-writer Joe Lopez, asked those in their community to fill the many positions needed for cast and crew. Wrecked is about a group of high school students and the events leading up to the night of prom and the role alcohol plays in one character's untimely death.

Since the summer of 2008, Proulx has written and directed several short films. This past semester as a senior at Fitchburg State College, he has written his second feature-length film entitled The Visionary and hopes to begin production in the coming weeks. The Visionary is a psychological thriller about a disturbed Hollywood director named Daniel and the troubling relationship he breeds with his eleven-year-old star, Ava.

“Ben's enthusiasm for his projects is infectious,” said Rachel Hauenstein, Principle Makeup Artist for Proulx’s latest production. “You just can't help but become passionate about what he’s passionate about.”

This passion is only confirmed by the many people who are willing to donate their time and resources to help Proulx turn his text into a reality. When he was a child his mother always told him to do what he loves and so he made filmmaking not just his dream but his goal.

“I don't really remember the moment I knew I wanted to make movies,” said Proulx. “When I was 5, I really wanted to be an actor. I used to play with my action figures and make up scenes in my head. So I was sort of a writer before I could actually write.”

His current production doesn't call for the major car accident or high school prom scenes that Wrecked did. However, with the large scale of costumes, set design, makeup and choreography The Visionary requires, there will be no shortage of opportunities for this promising young director to demonstrate the ease with which he commands a set.

“Toto, I don’t think we’re in Hollywood anymore.”

Filmmaking on the East Coast is getting stronger pending the opening of its own industry standard film production studio.

By Lauren Bancroft

Posted April 14, 2010

For those who want to become filmmakers, geography can both help and hinder any professional aspirations. Because “The Biz” is so closely associated with Los Angeles or New York City, a lot of people think that it’s impossible for them to make movies but that isn’t necessarily true.

During the past few years there has been slow but noticeable shift of major film studios that would normally shoot on the West Cost, moving their production to the East Coast. The Fighter starring Mark Walberg, Christian Bale and Amy Adams (Fall 2010) was recently shot in Lowell, Mass. and Knight and Day starring Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz (June 2010) was recently shot in Boston, Mass.

And the term for this new movement from westward filmmaking? Welcome my friends, to Hollywood East.

Hollywood East has already jumped on the networking bandwagon with the 2008 introduction of Hollywood East TV, an online community where local filmmakers and talent alike can connect to share information about current projects.

With the planned opening of Plymouth Rock Studios located in Plymouth, Mass.; the East Coast will finally have its first fully functional film production facility (seen below).

And until then?

The lack of facilities hasn’t stopped writers on the East Coast yet. Local director, Ben Proulx began production on his second feature length film and first psychological thriller called The Visionary. Local Nashua business owner and writing enthusiast Terre Weisman plans to begin production on his original comedy in early June.

There are a few Nashuans who aren’t actually looking to produce their scripts themselves however. Katie York, a graduate of both Nashua High School South and Full Sail University, has spent the past six weeks writing an original feature length screenplay with a co-writer. “We plan on going big, sending it to a few Hollywood production companies to possibly get sold,” York said.

Although breaking into the industry now may require some to relocate to the warmer climates of Southern California, you certainly don’t have to leave home if your love of filmmaking drives you. There are small scale productions happening all around. But hopefully in a few short years, York will be able to see her screenplay made into a reality right here on the East Coast.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE April 22, 2010

New Talent On The Makeup Scene Is Eager To Get Down To Business

One local college student is turning her love of makeup into more than just a hobby.

NASHUA, N.H. - Rachel Hauenstein is a bright new face in the cosmetic industry whose career is already on the rise. As a freelance Makeup Artist in the New England area, one would think work hard to come by. In just 2 years, Rachel has gained experience as the Principle Makeup Artist for films, fashion showings, events and theatrical productions.

Many people don’t think about the importance of makeup. In “The Biz”, mixing colors and shades can distract from an actor’s performance. Extreme looks can add to the originality any designer’s vision in the world of fashion. In the real world, a professional makeover can complete the perfect prom or wedding look.

Rachel got plenty of real world experience by practicing on friends and family as a hobby during her high school years. She received her esthetics license after graduating from Keene Beauty Academy in 2008 then continued her cosmetic education at Face Forward Inc. There Rachel received training from world class instructors including Dominic Cruz (Educational Director for Kryolan Makeup) and Elizabeth Poindexter (San Francisco Opera). She also worked as the esthetician on call at the Bare Escentuals located in the Pheasant Lane Mall.

After leaving Bare Escentuals, it didn’t take long for Rachel to begin growing her impressive resume. She was brought on as Head Makeup Artist for the launch of Elene Cassis’ Spring line at the 2010 New York Fashion Week. “The models looked effortlessly beautiful; they had a fresh youthful glow. Rachel's choice of subtle colors allowed the garments to be the emphasis of the presentation,” said Ann Ricchio of Elene Cassis Fashions.

Fashion is definitely not the only area Rachel is familiar with. “What she does is so beyond my realm,” said Ben Proulx, writer and director of the feature film The Visionary. “She reinforces her patience and professionalism while shooting on location. She is great.”

Whether it’s fashion, theatre or feature films, Rachel has already proven she can make the cut in every medium she has worked in. Once she conquers the admittedly limited New England Market, there is plenty of success to be had by this promising young artist.

Contact:

Rachel Hauenstein, Makeup Artist

(603) 321-1006

4 Masefield Road

Nashua, NH 03060

http://rhmua.webs.com/

Rachel Hauenstein is a skilled Makeup Artist with affordable pricing and flexible schedule. Her talents include day makeup, prom and evening makeup, camouflage, tattoo coverings, gore, theatrical, film, photo shoots/headshots and high fashion.

First Screenshots

2010-04-20T14:24:00.000-07:00

Here are some stills. We are making this movie.

Tell a friend.

The Visionary

Scheduling and Locking Shoots

2010-04-17T17:12:00.000-07:00

I have (especially after talking with Evalena) set a deadline for myself to lock a lot of shoots. I am going to be spending a long week in Panera drinking a lot of bottomless coffee ($1.95 for a mug fyi- refill it all day, it's good coffee).

The deadline is this Thursday. You will all hear from me soon- probably Thursday because I tend to procrastinate.

Regardless... this is good.

This is a joke right? Wrong.

2010-04-16T09:03:00.000-07:00

Some guy just responded to my craigslist post in search of an unpaid audio person:

"This is a joke, right? You are going to need to put together 50 - 75K, that's how much this will cost you."

I love it. I can't wait to be showing this film around in LA telling everyone what my budget was. So motivating. Thanks, craigslist guy.

The Visionary is officially IN production

2010-04-12T13:58:00.001-07:00

So I figured it out. I figured it ALL out guys:

If you can come up with a way to not ever sleep, you can make films. Luckily, I've almost got it down.

I did sleep for about five hours between Friday morning and Sunday night (NOT an exaggeration). But besides that, I was shooting. We just about finished up with all of our shoots in "Rita's House", which there are like 3 and 1/2 of. So that rules. Like 37 more shoots left, and I'm feeling good.

First of all our make-up artist wasn't kidding around... she is LEGIT. I knew I had one, but I didn't REALLY know how much i HAD a make-up artist, dedicated, down and dirty, just about as crazy as me just OWNING on make-up. That is AWESOME!

That aside... Sophie (little Ava) made it through her first day of shooting like a champ. She is absolutely way too good of an actress for her age, I need to get my act together to live up to her standards! And the greatest thing about her is that she gets everyone else in such a great mood, because she's full of stories about her friends and (one of my favorites) a dog with weak back legs that goes "click clack BONK, click clack BONK!" You can't help but smile with her around and shooting becomes so much more relaxing with her there, and it's KEY.

Melissa "I've shared scenes with Mark Wahlberg and enjoy working with David O Russell" McMeekin, well... alright, fine. I'll say it. She's pretty damn professional. I actually haven't had someone take my direction that well, ever. Everything I said she did, and then I'd add something else and she'd remember to keep doing the last thing, I had her breathing fast and shaking her head and getting rid of a line of dialogue and touching her face and etc, etc, etc... and she just nailed every little direction and carried them through every time. Her scene across from Steve was really rock and roll. It did take way too long though, which was my fault and we never went to bed, but it's hard to move on when something is working so well sometimes. You just want to stay and keep fine tuning and perfecting. I think we have coverage of both Melissa and Steve running through their lines EASILY more than 30 times. What is pretty cool about Steve is that he's really enveloped himself in his character and with him it's not running through lines, but it's getting across a point his character needs to make, and that's how I am going to flow with him through the entire production. We are going to achieve his character for sure, because he's just as committed as me to make this crazy guy what he needs to be, and to get him to say what he needs to say. I love it. It's almost insane, and I love it.

Things Brian and I learned this weekend... there are a lot.

First, our entire cast and crew so far is a dream come true. This film WILL rule.

Second, we need a dedicated audio person. Audio was a weak spot for us this weekend and kept us frustrated. We are looking at overdubbing some things (which is fine, just annoying).

Third, fog machines are awesome for lighting.

Forth, our lights are noisy. Not too noisy, but noisy. If we had a solid audio rig/person we'd be more than all set, but it's potentially a minor issue we'll need to hash out.

Fifth, Melissa loves to do the Dew, and Sophie likes cherries.

Sixth, story boarding is critical, especially as we are jumping around in the script. And it's very important to understand the location before we walk onto it. We have to continue going in with a plan.

Seventh, our equipment IS good, we ARE good, and these images we are getting look like the real deal. I'm very pleased about that.

Overall, great first weekend. The ball is rolling I feel, which was our number 1 goal going into this. Can't wait to keep tying our loose ends and perfecting our strong suits. We are making a movie. A real one. A very, very real movie.

Music

2010-03-28T13:34:00.000-07:00

Ayal has been sending me some compositions for some of the key songs in the movie. They are incredible and I am beginning to get a much better visual idea of what these scenes will look like. I took a trip down to Boston on Friday to re-record the vocals on a few of Ayal's compositions with Julie. Julie is an amazing vocalist and she will be working with my actresses. Check her out, here: http://www.youtube.com/user/julielavery?feature=mhw4#p/u/0/-mv-aNPXtlM

On friday we got two of three reference recordings done over with Julie's vocals, and I think they will be great for the other singers to practice to. Things are coming together with the music, and I THINK I may have even found a possible Ava singer.

I'm lucky to know and have access to such great musicians.

Incredible High Def Cameras are In Use AND IT ROCKS!

2010-03-23T19:51:00.000-07:00

The other day, Nick Giaquinto, Steve McElwain and I took a stroll around Greeley Park with a Canon 5D hooked on to a shoulder-mount we made out of a plank of old wood, the foam piece of a crutch we found outside of the Salvation Army, and a large clamp. We didn't light it. We didn't take audio. We didn't write anything, or plan at all. Just us, the sun and a 5D.

This is what we came up with:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9qUEoPYMCY

Don't ask. Don't worry.

Regardless of anything... the new Canon HD camera's are, well... perfect.

***

Something to look forward to (video people)... we (Brian, Nick and I- and now Melissa!) will be shooting a short comedy on the RED with a large jib in NYC the second weekend of April. Pretty spur of the moment and extreme, and most of all... completely awesome.

HELP! The Visionary PROPS and EXTRAS list: Show this to everyone you can!

2010-03-22T14:58:00.000-07:00

IF ANYONE HAS ANYTHING ON THIS LIST (MOST OF IT IS EVERYDAY ITEMS), OR KNOW SOMEONE WHO DOES, AND ARE WILLING TO LET US BORROW OR DONATE COMPLETELY, PLEASE, PLEASE LET ME KNOW!! -Theatre / Stage Props -Ash Trays -Doctor’s Certificates -HD Camera (used as prop) -Yellow SUV -Fancy Doll House / Vintage-looking Dolls -Monitors (Any kind) – Need many -Coat Racks – Need many -Headsets (Headphones with Microphone attached) – Need many -Spare cables / Extension chords – Need many -Mirrors – Need many -Trailer / Winnebago – Need a few -Large (or small) Tent(s), preferably white, but any color is fine– Need a few -Professional office-looking binders, brief cases, or other nice office accessories -Make-up / Make-up kits -Extra clothes of any kind -Coat hangers -Women’s accessories (i.e. hair brush, nail file, etc.) -Vintage looking ANYTHING (i.e. lamps, carpets, photo frames, toaster, anything) -Flowers (real or nice fake ones) -Prestigious TV/Film awards OR realistic fake ones (Oscar/Emmy/Tony etc..) -Anything 1960’s (clothing, record players, beauty accessories, carpets, furniture, etc…) -Giant pieces of white material (paper, plastic, etc…) -Professional Picture Cameras (Preferably with pop-out flash) and Extra’s to use them IF ANYONE WANTS TO BE AN EXTRA, THEY CAN BE! WE NEED TONS: Poperazzi (All black attire) Movie Set Techs (Jeans) Film Actors (Costume’s to be supplied) People in the streets People in cafes Office workers (Business casual attire) Children in class Children auditioning (Dressy) Masquerade guests (Black and white “tux/black dress” attire) PLEASE CONTACT ME ASAP!!!

Facebook Ben Proulx, or email me: proulxproductions@yahoo.com, or call me: (603) 759-6419 Thanks in advance to everyone that responds!!! You have no idea how much we need/appreciate all the help we can get! Cheers, Ben

The Visionary - A Novel: Chapter 2

2010-03-19T18:24:00.000-07:00

Chapter 2: The Colour of Obsession

While Daniel’s resume was now filled with award-winning, romantic Hollywood ballads, there was never enough color saturating on his screens. There was only complacent, studio illumination. Throughout his life, Daniel had always wanted to create a visual and audible experience that was overflowing with vivid, extraordinary wavelengths of sunset, and moonlight and summer. He’d been held back and kept within the strict parameters of moneymakers and studio producers. Just the experience of being in London was liberating for Daniel. The art surrounding him- the break from archetypes, the architecture even- it gave him a reason to begin again.

Despite his riches, Daniel chose to stay in a small apartment while there. Just outside was a cobblestone road, which in itself was pleasant enough to just stare at for hours. And so, through his Victorian style window, that is just what he did. He would watch his neighbors pass by carrying bread and wearing suits. Occasionally a horse and buggy would pass. He would often wonder about the lives of these strangers- who they loved, what they thought, what their parents were like. He drifted off into many worlds. He would make up stories for all of the people outside of his window. The young man who delivered the mail would each day deliver a letter of secret admiration to a woman down the street, named Josephine. She lived with her husband, and so after the letters became frequent she had to make sure she was the one collecting them each day. Her husband had no idea about the letters, and secretly, Josephine began to write back. Eventually, without any knowledge of the mailman’s physical appearance or private life (apart from what she knew from the letters), she asked him to lunch through the mail- a blind date at The Cozy Pot Café, located three blocks away. Daniel would then go to the Cozy Pot, enjoy a coffee, and wait for the mailman to show up and greet Josephine. Obviously, this never happened. It was all imagined. However, one brightly lit Saturday morning, Josephine, exactly as Daniel had imagined her, walked in. She was beautiful and ornately dressed in a long, red gown. Bright red. Her hair was platinum blonde, curling just right below her shoulders. She wore white gloves and golden rings over them. Daniel realized that he was starring, and he darted his eyes back down to his coffee. When he glanced back up, she was looking right back. His chest filled with feeling, and the rest of him numb. He kept his eyes locked just long enough to recognize his own mother, as a young woman, as he remembered her. Suddenly he heard her voice singing a song of summer. This woman, who he had named Josephine, instantly became a symbol of everything pure and right about his mother, Isabella. Everything was perfect in that moment, as it should have been. He was a child again, and the summer was bright and full of color. There was enough color to last him for his entire lifetime in that single, precious moment.

The entire story formed itself in the next few hours. Blues and greens and yellows and oranges danced through Daniel’s minds eye, but none were more prominent than red. The red was ever present and glowing brighter than anything he had ever felt or seen before. Finally he arrived back in his apartment, and began to type everything down.

The Colour Red, Daniel’s first musical, followed the character of Josephine, a 1960’s showgirl who gave more than she should, and took nothing but her needs. There was colorful and ornate costuming, and the scenery was illuminated- exaggerated with blissful frill. Josephine was full of red. She was the most appealing woman imaginable. Her talent was immense, and her voice full of summer. There was so much summer. Daniel let the entire story pour out of him in about a week’s time, and with so much love for it, he made sure it was exactly what he wanted it to be. Seven years later, he had perfected it.

THE COLOUR RED

By Daniel Long

An Outlined Synopsis of the Musical

ACT I

We begin in Josephine’s apartment. She is dwelling on her many sexual partners. She is a showgirl in lower Manhattan.

Josephine goes to her mother for rent money, but her mother calls her a whore and dismisses her.

Josephine dances as a showgirl. She is treated as an object by her spectators, but one man named Geoff approaches her afterwards and invites her to dinner. They have a connection and she accepts.

Josephine walks into Central Park. A small child approaches her, and she is petrified. She screams out and shoos the child away from her.

Josephine begins to feel very ill. She has trouble eating, and becomes pale.

Josephine goes out with Geoff, but she is very sick and Geoff convinces her to see a doctor. She is embarrassed.

Josephine goes to the doctor, who informs her she is pregnant.

Josephine is horrified. She goes home and attempts to kill her child, but cannot commit, and has an emotional panic attack.

Josephine decides she wants an abortion. She goes to the clinic to get one, but a kind stranger convinces her to see a shrink before she goes through with anything.

ACT II

She visits a shrink by the name of Dr. Pace, who diagnoses her with pedophobia, or the fear of children. He informs her that they have been very successful in the past with beating this phobia.

Josephine tells her mother that she is going to have a child and turn her life around. Her mother is upset but hopeful.

Josephine sees Geoff. She tells him everything about her pregnancy and phobia. He supports her decision to see the psychologist, and tells her he will be there for her in her struggle to keep her child and overcome her fears.

Josephine sees her psychologist again, who in an attempt to try and cure her, introduces her to his young daughter Samantha Pace. Samantha tells Josephine not to be afraid, but she runs out horrified.

Josephine has a panic attack and has nobody to reach out to besides Geoff.

Geoff takes Josephine to a circus. He introduces her to his friends after the show. Geoff is a tightrope walker and has many bizarre friends. This is a side of Geoff Josephine is learning about for the first time.

After their circus date, Geoff talks to Josephine about how children are the fuel that drives him to perform. He explains that the psychology of a child’s mind is open and pleasant and needs to be entertained. Josephine is moved by his speech.

Josephine visits the psychiatrist again, and this time she is able to open up to him more about Geoff and his occupation, and about her own mother, who might be the route of her phobia. They make progress.

As Josephine is leaving her appointment, she runs into Samantha on her way out. Samantha is upset. Josephine, feeling motivated, works up all of the courage she can and asks Samantha what is wrong. Samantha is very innocent and lovable as she tells Josephine she wished she had a mother. Josephine inquires further and Samantha explains that her mother died when she was born and her father was very strict and high-tempered with her. Josephine is sympathetic, and amazed at how much she has been able to accept Samantha and conquer her fears.

Josephine approaches her mother and asks about her father. Her mother is taken aback and refuses to talk about him. Josephine is upset.

Josephine goes to watch Geoff perform for the first time. He is magnificent. A young child is in the audience. The child is very happy and excited by Geoff. Josephine notices how happy it makes Geoff to perform for the child.

Josephine has another appointment with Dr. Pace. She begins to inquire him about Samantha, and he shows discomfort. She begins to feel threatened by him and more and more sorry for Samantha. On the way out, she makes eye contact with Samantha as Dr. Pace yells at her.

Josephine has dinner with Geoff. He talks about the child from the circus. Josephine has an idea.

Josephine is back in Dr. Pace’s office. She asks him if she could borrow Samantha for an evening, to bring to the circus and see Geoff. He dislikes the idea at first, as Samantha should be keeping busy with her studies and lessons, but Josephine convinces him it would be the best thing for her phobia.

Josephine brings Samantha to the circus. Samantha is incredibly happy and in awe. They watch the show, and eventually Geoff comes out. Geoff notices Samantha with Josephine, is overcome by joy, and gives one of the most exciting performances yet. Samantha and Josephine both cheer. Samantha tells Josephine that she wishes she were her mother. Josephine adores the little Samantha, and becomes obsessed with her, as she is the symbol of her freedom from her phobia.

Josephine invites Samantha for dinner with her and Geoff. They talk about the circus and Samantha asks Geoff all kinds of excited questions. It’s a wonderful dinner.

When Josephine returns Samantha to Dr. Pace, he is outraged that they were out much later than expected. Josephine tries to take the blame but he takes all of his anger out on Samantha. They depart and Josephine leaves charged with anger and guilt. She is beginning to hate Dr. Pace.

Josephine sits in front of Dr. Pace in his office. She argues that Samantha should be able to enjoy a thing such as the circus. Dr. Pace angrily decides that clearly Josephine is cured, and has no business seeing him or Samantha any more. She pleads that he let her visit Samantha again, but he refuses and they part ways, upset.

Josephine walks through Central Park. The same child from the beginning of the story approaches her once more, and this time, she talks with him. He compliments her dress, and then is called away by his mother, who exchanges laughs and hugs with him as they walk away. Josephine is moved.

When Josephine gets back with Geoff, she tells him that she is sure she is ready to have and care for her baby. Geoff is pleased. They are both happy in a moment, but Josephine still thinks of Samantha.

Josephine visits her mother and tells her she is happy and ready to birth her child. Her mother is happy. Finally her mother tells her about her father. Her father loved her very much, but died when she was only little. She gives Josephine a letter from her father that he had written to her just before he died. The letter contains fatherly advice to Josephine about men, children and life. Josephine is moved to tears. She pledges to her father that she will love her child as much as he loved her.

Josephine visits the doctor to check in on her pregnancy. The doctor informs her she has had a miscarriage. She becomes instantly depressed.

Josephine informs Geoff of her miscarriage. He tries to comfort her but she is beyond upset.

Josephine receives a letter from Samantha that she wrote behind her fathers back. The letter explains that she is living a nightmare and her father is horrible to her, and that she wishes Josephine was her mother.

Josephine shows up to Dr. Pace’s office in a rage, but finds he has moved his office. She finds out from a maintenance worker who had been eavesdropping that Dr. Pace and Samantha were going to be moving out of the country by the end of the week.

Josephine does some detective work, finding an old file of his patients and asking them for his home address. She eventually figures out where he lives.

Josephine breaks into Dr. Pace’s house in the middle of the night and silently murders him with chloroform. She then wakes Samantha and tells her to come with her. Samantha is happy to see her and immediately leaves with her. Josephine never tells Samantha she has murdered her father.

ACT III

Josephine and Samantha hit the road. They cross the country and head to the boarder. Josephine mails Geoff a letter that explains she has run with Samantha and is doing what she must do to be happy and that she will greatly miss him.

Josephine stops along the way and walks out into an open field to reflect on her circumstances. This is her last peaceful moment.

They are about to reach the border when Samantha asks Josephine where they are going and here her dad is. Josephine is surprised to see that Samantha still cares about her father after all of her hard times. Josephine lies to her and tells her that her father was fine, and that he moved away as planned, leaving Samantha with her. Samantha is upset that her father would abandon her so easily.

The two arrive at the border and there is a background check. They realize that Josephine is with the late Dr. Pace’s daughter when Samantha gives them too much information. With knowledge of his murder, the authorities arrest Josephine and take Samantha. Josephine is taken kicking and screaming.

Josephine is taken to prison where she is inspected and informed that she is in fact still pregnant. There was no miscarriage after all. They inform her that she will not be able to keep her child. She is devastated, and kills her child and herself in prison.

The story ends with Geoff’s high wire act. With sadness overcoming him, he falls.

My Cast is Perfect

2010-03-16T13:49:00.000-07:00

Can Evalena sing? Of COURSE she can. Of course she can.

Mark my words. Evalena Marie is going to be a household name. Mark them.

And just wait until I reveal little Sophie. This girl is adorable and incredibly talented.

And I have an Oscar party guest and a guy who might possibly be crazy enough to pull off the role of a crazy person to perfection.

My cast is perfect.

Promotional images soon- less than a month. This film is going to fire out of a canon... Canon 7D to be specific. But it's going to FIRE out.

Cheers.

The Visionary - A Novel

2010-03-15T01:07:00.000-07:00

I am currently working on writing The Visionary into a novel, as I feel this will be beneficial and will help myself to immerse... myself, in the story while I am shooting the film. I'll be releasing the novel chapter by chapter on the blog. Cool. Read-y or not, here you go:

Chapter 1: The Defining Colors of Daniel Long

Sophocles’ Oedipus was being preformed. The theatre was ornate, with a high open ceiling, which gave an aura to a near perfectly delivered monologue.

Five rows back and stage right was Daniel Long, a forty-two year old slim-bodied man with thin glasses and long black hair, slicked back and put into a ponytail. Daniel was transfixed to the stage performer playing King Oedipus, as he passionately called out in frustration and sorrow.

The story of Oedipus was for some reason of intrigue to Daniel. He didn’t particularly enjoy the story itself, but something about it brewed his subconscious in an addictive way. He had read the story in all its forms, studied it- come to understand it. This performance was moving, and Daniel was satisfied with his renewed writing motivations.

A few hours later in the night, Daniel was back in his dingy London apartment and in front of his laptop, where he had been working for nearly six months on a screenplay, a musical he entitled The Colour Red. This was the first time that Daniel had honestly been in love with his writing. He knew his characters as if they were real people. They each had a place in his heart, and he would often write himself into the scenes, temporarily, just so that he could spend some time with them and talk. He needed to talk with someone every now and then to stay sane while he was living alone in London.

But let’s go back, for there is more to Daniel than Oedipus and dark London apartments.

Daniel was born unplanned in the late 1960’s to parents Isabella and Frank Long in lower Manhattan. His father fell sick and died a year after his birth. Isabella was left alone in New York City with her only child who quickly became nothing but a burden to her. They lived in a dumpy upstairs apartment as she worked tirelessly to make ends meet. Isabella would sing all the time. Any mundane household chore there was to be done was covered in the many colors of her beautifully pitched voice. Quite possibly Daniel’s favorite thing about his mothers voice was the color. All the beautiful colors he could imagine, triumphing over the stale, cold, gray apartment.

As Daniel grew to the ages of three and four, Isabella began to tell him on a regular basis of her struggles and how much of a burden he was for her. When Daniel was almost five years old, his mother met a rich, younger man named Wade. Wade was the apprentice to his father’s successful metal manufacturing company, and was on the brink of taking it over, as his father was ill. As Isabella began to date Wade, she kept Daniel a secret from him out of shame and knowledge that Wade may lose interest in a woman with a child. Daniel began to slowly learn of Wade, but was too young to understand the situation. After about six months of dating, Wade, still unaware of Daniel, asked Isabella for her hand in marriage. She accepted.

Daniel was becoming less and less important in his mother’s life, and her love and dependence on Wade became more and more overbearing. She was a horrible mother and would often forget to feed Daniel or would leave him alone for long hours, but Daniel did not know anything else. This was normal living for him. He had been sheltered all of his life, kept away from society by Isabella, locked away and tortured with solitude in the terrifyingly cold upstairs apartment which seemed to be losing more and more of it’s color each day.

One morning, the five-year-old Daniel had been playing with electrical house appliances, and accidentally burned and ruined a good amount of the items in the living room. Isabella came home to this and was furious, again screaming at Daniel for being a burden on her life. She beat him leaving bruise marks and cuts. It was about a week after that she took him for a drive to upstate Vermont and signed him up for daycare using a name other than her own, as well as other false information. When the daycare ended on his first day there, she never showed up to get him. The staff eventually got the police involved and after a weeks time they found Isabella back in New York and arrested her for abandonment, although she consistently denied that Daniel was her son. Wade, who was learning about Daniel for the first time, was furious and immediately left her.

Daniel was admitted from there to a foster family. After a few months time he received word that his mother had taken her own life while in prison, a moment in which he loved and missed her passionately for the first time. He mourned over the colors. He would never again hear her voice.

Daniel’s foster parents were very nice people, seemingly, but as Daniel grew into his teenage years he began to realize that his foster father was sexually abusing his mother. At the age of thirteen, he ran away from home. After this occurrence, the authorities decided to split him from his family once again.

Daniel was placed with an older couple living in Western Massachusetts. He was put into a boarding school for two years before attending a public high school. His boarding school years were possibly the most memorable of his life. He joined the backstage crew for the theatre department to fill his extracurricular requirement. He didn’t really care much for theatre, but one night everything changed.

Daniel had been through the set changes for his play all spring, but it took him until the opening night to notice Samantha. He watched from behind the curtain as she floated downstage, her vibrant, sparkling blue dress tailing ten feet behind. Her hair was exactly as dark as a moonlit night and her eyes large and immaculate. How he hadn’t noticed her before, he did not know, but her sheer color had pulled him in. She was so colorful. And then she sang. It was haunting how all the color seemed, in that very moment, to flood back into Daniel’s life. His soul was screaming.

Daniel gathered all of his courage to approach Samantha later that night, and the two became friends. He quickly learned some piano to impress her and they would spend time together creating harmonies, which to Daniel, were in some way, for what ever reason, the richest of reds.

Samantha was a great talker, and Daniel found it easy to tell her everything he usually kept from telling. He told her all about his mother, and his foster life. She listened. She smiled. He smiled too. He would tell her so much that he revealed the sides of himself any young-hearted girl would fear, and he soon trapped himself in a position where her love was hard to reach. He told her how he never wanted children, because he never wanted to have the capacity to recreate the damage done by his mother. This knowledge, was the most unappealing to Samantha, who even as a young girl knew she was destined to be a wonderful mother.

When Daniel made the transition to high school, he was split from Samantha, but they would still send letters to each other. When Daniel was seventeen he received a letter from Samantha explaining that she had gotten a boyfriend. Daniel, charged with love for her, entered a period of heavy depression and even considered suicide. He found his life saving outlet, however, in the arts. He began to express himself and his emptiness through painting, drawing and writing poetry and songs. Music was his favorite (and most practiced) medium, and he began to study music history and learn more instruments, particularly the violin. Almost right away he began to receive a great deal of praise for his work. It was advanced and impressive. He, himself, was impressed at his own ability. He had a natural talent. Soon, as he experimented more in the arts, he became heavily involved in photography. As he became more infatuated with photography, he started to play with motion film, and before long he became obsessed with that. He began to focus more and more on music and film and less on his studio art. By the time he was twenty he had made a number of very prestigious short films and had self-scored all of them. He would often think of how if it weren’t for Samantha, he would have never found his talents. He continued to be infatuated, not with her, but with the thought of her. He would often reminisce over old photos of her that he kept over the years. He really never grew out of her- ever.

At the young age of twenty-eight, Daniel, a bohemian now, caught his first break when a short film he had made entitled, A Young Love Story, received widespread attention after screening at a Boston Film Festival. A producer from a well-known local New York studio gave Daniel his first job assistant directing a feature film out of Manhattan. Daniel rose to the opportunity and impressed many people on the set with his ability to bring a real life to the film. He was a leader, quickly earning the respect of anyone that he worked with. During filming, Daniel consistently wrote his own feature on the side, using his new on-set experience to guide him. After the film’s completion, Daniel had a full script ready, and pitched it to anyone and everyone he could at award ceremonies and exposes. It caught the interest of a young independent producer, who immediately went to work for Daniel trying to put together funds. He came up with about $400,000, and that was enough. They began casting, and a girl named Candice Merlot auditioned for the lead. Candice was a fifteen-year-old girl with more motivation and confidence than anyone in the world. She was also a nymphomaniac, and happened to have an appearance and attitude similar to Samantha’s, but most importantly, her singing voice was tremendous. Daniel was obsessed with her from the moment he laid eyes on her, and she was cast. The thirty-year-old Daniel flirted with Candice throughout the production. When the film wrapped shooting, Daniel hosted a party for the cast and crew to celebrate. At this party, Candice finally came on to Daniel, as he had desired her to, and they had sex. Candice had fallen in love with Daniel, and her love only deepened for him as she was thrust into the limelight of Hollywood she had always dreamed of, on his behalf. Her dream of being a famous movie star was a reality because of Daniel. But Daniel wasn’t in love with Candice. Daniel was infatuated with the thought of Samantha. It stayed a secret between Daniel and Candice that they were having sex, as they both understood it was morally and politically unacceptable. When Candice turned eighteen, she was ready to go public with their relationship, but Daniel convinced her that it was a bad idea because there was too much of a chance it would damage their careers.

When Daniel was thirty-five years old, his career had taken off. He had completed three more films with Candice, winning various awards. He was now a well-known, largely famous filmmaker. It was one night in the fall when he received a letter from Samantha inviting him to her wedding. Daniel was set into a period of extreme anxiety from which he never recovered. In an effort to re-collect himself he abruptly moved to London, making no announcements.

Seven years later, The Colour Red was embracing Daniel as if he had awakened from a nightmare to find himself in its arms.

No Sleep is Working Out

2010-03-11T07:19:00.000-08:00

For the third night in a row last night, I slept for about 4 hours.

Charlie and I took a trip down to Webster to visit Brian and his 14 gigs of ram for a final editing session on Charlie's video "North Shore", which we shot and more or less completed back in January and then just left on the back burner until now. This was the first music video we have done where the video was actually shot and had a few drafts cut before the song was ever completed. This made for an interesting experience and lead to some changes I hated, and some I loved.

Our editing session last night ended at about 2 AM, I was home by 3, and then I woke up at 7 to make an 8 AM class.

But it was absolutely worth the lack of sleep, because finally it's done!

The video can be seen here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxkaHWzeTdU&feature=sub

For the love of God, paste this link everywhere you can for me while I nap!

Cheers!

2010-03-10T18:07:00.000-08:00

Fired up. Got 4 hours of sleep 2 nights in a row now, but somehow fired up.

Yesterday, I wrote the first check for the film, which went to Allison and the rest of my newly forming art department team, who are awesome. This check wasn't massive or crippling, but it absolutely, 100% marks a new chapter of this film called, "The I am officially 'invested' in this film chapter". This seals it's completion in about 5 or so months, as I am now definitely literally, "invested" in this baby. I am all forces go. No looking back. Awesome.

Things are also coming together, and it's great.

More soon. Big updates on the way as soon as the 95% stuff becomes 100% stuff- which is not only soon, but very soon.

Preliminary Sketches

2010-03-04T16:31:00.000-08:00

A few of many preliminary costume concept sketches and storyboards. Feel free to upload and share any ideas, artist friends!

Melissa's Going to the Oscars!

2010-03-04T11:52:00.000-08:00

Our leading actress (playing Rita) is going to be rocking an intense dress on the red carpet very soon! Pretty cool. There was a feature article recently written on her in the Gloucester Times, follow this link to read it:

http://www.gloucestertimes.com/pulife/local_story_062232034.html

The Visionary is mentioned in the article and included in her bios as she continues to flex her starlet muscle, which is pretty cool also. Very excited for Melissa, and cheers to her success!

The Visionary - Art Developments

2010-03-02T20:37:00.000-08:00

Allison (the art director) and I took a trip to Boston today to meet up with Brian (the DP) and go over costume looks for the film, and then meet up with Ayal, a Berklee student who will be helping to compose the music. I'm really excited about getting more and more incredible artists on board with this thing!

Just take a listen to Ayal's compositions:

http://www.myspace.com/ayalvish

Allison has so far inspired, or has brought some wild ideas to the table, such as:

-Using a large snake for one of the dance sequences (confirmed today)- Our actress Evalena (of course) seems pretty pumped about dancing with a snake.

-Styling our actresses' hair into animal faces... I know. I know.

-Releasing a ton of butterflies into the air during a scene.

...And the ideas continue to get more and more insane... and we're going to do them!

There is some serious headway being made and it's awesome! A ton of sketches have been drawn up, also. I am really anxious and it's hard to sleep with all of this on my mind. It's great.

Woo!

Cheers!

Ben

"The Visionary" First Press Release

2010-03-01T14:57:00.000-08:00

Local Film Company Embarks on Colorfully Bizarre Psychological Thriller

Independent filmmakers, Ben Proulx and Brian Way are teaming up with “The Fighter” cast member, Melissa McMeekin, and local college film programs to produce a full‐length film entitled, “The Visionary”.

Ben Proulx Films, LLC began production mid-February, and plans on completing the film by August, and then exhibiting it nationally in film festivals and certain cinemas.

The script, written by Ben Proulx, calls for wildly colorful and extravagant art design, makeup, costuming... and even musical theater!

“There’s no doubt that the boundaries are unseen as far as blow‐out art design and surrealism with this one,” says Ben. “We are already working with a few makeup specialists, professional stylists and some students from the Berklee College of Music in Boston to pull this all off. We are even doing some choreography!”

The film is a psychological thriller, which follows an 11yearold autistic girl through a perilous largescale musical production lead by a delusional and obsessive director.

The story is filled with uneasy, suspenseful moments and authentically represents a range of medical and psychological attributes from autism to groupthink, which Ben has based on extensive research and experience. With production just beginning, the filmmakers are still looking to local companies and professionals for locations, supplies and support, and offer credits, web advertisement and (in some cases) video services in return.

“We are building this film from the ground up, and need all the help we can get!” says Ben. “It’s amazing to know that there is truly unlimited potential, and it’s satisfying to be taking on such a legitimate film of this scale, and to be doing it right! I wholeheartedly believe we’ll blow the socks off of the Boston film scene.”

Contact Information:

Ben Proulx,

Ben Proulx Films, LLC

Phone: (603) 759‐6419

Email: proulxproductions@yahoo.com

The Science of Tension In Art

2010-03-01T14:56:00.000-08:00

Tension is a feeling that is created by a number of possible things, which include elements of all five senses. In visual, still artwork, tension can be created by a various number of styles. There are four definitions of tension, according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, one of which I think pertains best to this discussion (definition three, in three subdivisions):

“a : inner striving, unrest, or imbalance often with physiological indication of emotion b : a state of latent hostility or opposition between individuals or groups c : a balance maintained in an artistic work between opposing forces or elements”

The A and B portions of the above definition are interestingly connected to the third, C portion. From arranging elements of a piece of artwork, one is able to significantly affect a persons emotions or state of thinking. This can be done quite literally, such as by visually representing a subject who is frowning, displaying sadness, or it can be done more abstractly, or conceptually, by placing certain objects and shapes in specific positions with no direct literal message. It’s interesting to think that strictly the ordering of a few triangles can provoke emotion, but upon analyzing the pathways between visual art and our psychological response patterns, it certainly begins to become clearer. Say we were to have, in fact, three triangles, one small, one large, and one even larger than the other. Now, say we placed them in order from small to large (moving from left to right). While the arrangement is seemingly very simple, books could be written about the psychological triggers that tie into this. Right away, a human brain may begin relating the image, as a whole, to evolution or growth. One may think of a person’s lifespan- of birth or death. They may begin to question the use of triangles- why not circles? Triangles have three sides, they can’t roll if they are pushed and they are therefore stable. Now, what if we ordered them differently, putting the smallest triangle in the center of the bigger two? We may begin to feel bad for the smaller triangle, or worried for it, because it seems to be cornered by the larger triangles. Suddenly we are having feelings of anger and dislike for the larger triangles. Maybe the larger outside triangles are positioned closer to the small, middle triangle. Now, is there more insecurity for the small triangle? By the way, are your triangles male or female?

I have a theory… I can’t say I’ve done massive amounts of research to be able to prove it perfectly, but here it is: Regardless of the situation, unknown or abstract visual subjects are always, even if only subconsciously, given human qualities by their human viewers. Furthermore, I believe that the reason tension exists in regards to space, shapes, or color is because of these human qualities we establish and how they provide us with a means for comparison between them and our own qualities and life experiences. The use of inkblots is a perfect example of what I am talking about.

Recently, I have been writing a character that is autistic. I have been doing some research on autism for this, and I have stumbled across a few things that peaked my interest. According to my readings, a study was conducted in which they showed a number of children a film and tracked their eye movement. The children without autism seemed to always focus on the subject’s eyes during dramatic scenes with heavy dialogue, while the children with autism focused on the subject’s mouths. Children with autism, instead of focusing on a person’s face as one image, focus on individual areas of the face at a time. If there is more movement in a particular area of the face (such as the mouth), that will more than likely be their point of interest. When we speak of “tension” in art, we think of how shapes, lines, colors, etc., trigger our emotions or some memory of our own experiences. It is very interesting to think about how an autistic mind may communicate with abstract (or literal) artwork that is proven to evoke specific, and unified emotion amongst a range of people without disabilities (*which is an oxymoron, I know, considering the fact that there is actually nobody without at least some kind of disability). I can’t disagree with my theory, however, even in regards to considering autism. I still firmly find that any visually depicted object, shape, line, movement, or otherwise is instantly a trigger for the reflection of some human quality. We may see an object, like the small center triangle, and relate it to an actual human, such as a shy, weak child, or we might see a drawing of, let’s say, a shovel, and start to imagine how this shovel might interact with a human. Either way, we are always considering human qualities or personal life experiences.

Of course, after understanding this, one would be newly able to control the tension of their drawings. They would now be able to understand that, yes, if you have a jagged shape, it will more easily provoke thoughts of pain due to the knowledge of how a human interacts with something that is jagged, and knowing what that feels like. They would now know that a slope is less stable, and that large objects are more intimidating than smaller ones. It’s extremely exiting to understand that something as simple as three triangles can provoke so much inventive thinking. I sometimes feel that having this understanding is why I obsess about art. The whole point of making art, for me, is to create tension (good or bad) that can provoke emotions and strategically deliver messages. The more I begin to understand how to reveal a person’s subconscious, the more I feel greatly confident in my ability to create tension affectively in my films and with other mediums.

Some Deep Thinking

2010-03-01T14:48:00.000-08:00

The following was written and recorded on
UNKNOWN DATE IN EITHER 2007 or 2008

I was doing some deep thinking… so I recorded it, but I recorded it as if I was writing some kind of pamphlet telling people how they should think and live their life. I don’t know why I wrote it this way, but I don’t know if I like how much of a conceited know-it-all I seem like after reading it…

Read it. But please know that I’m not an asshole, and the following is how I think and not how you have to.

Live In the Present

History is our friend, because it teaches us about our mistakes and accomplishments. The future is very important too, that is where our goals lie. So when I say live in the present, I do NOT mean disregard the past and future. I mean live without worries. Concentrating on the future is unhealthy. And concentrating on the past is just weird, and it will make you arrogant. I’ve seen it. You’re life is what you got. You don’t have 200 years in the future, and you don’t have the 1700’s. So WHY focus on those more than the present? Why study them more than the present? Why? Study them. Be intellectual. Be knowledgeable, but in moderation. In my opinion, the best subjects to focus on are psychology and sociology. Learn about culture, learn about how people think and interact, and especially about people in the present. Let’s get even more direct. Let’s just say (hypothetically) that you have seven things that are your goals in life, and they are all overall well-minded things. Now let’s say that one of those things is right there in front of you and you can reach out and grab it if you want but there is a dilemma: you’ve attempted to do this thing before and failed / gotten in trouble because you were misunderstood, AND you are worried that if you attempt to do this thing again you will be in a place and mindset you don’t want to be in afterwards. The dilemma is the only thing standing between you and something you ultimately need to do for yourself. That dilemma is constructed completely of elements from the past and future. This is an example of a situation where you should focus on the present. Even if it doesn’t ultimately get you to your goal again, at least you will be able to be calm and happy while you attempt or achieve whatever the goal is. You won’t get anywhere without the present, so use it. Over the course of your life there will be a handful of pinpoint moments which outcomes will shape and develop who you are. These moments may come out of nowhere, or sometimes they will be obvious and you’ll be able to prepare for them. Either way, when they do come you’ll be able to make decisions. If you’re worried and/or stubborn that’s not good for the decision making process.

Meditate a Lot

It’s amazing how relaxed you can make yourself feel by just blocking out everything around you and thinking. It doesn’t matter what you think about, as long as it’s positive (or questioning). You can think about something completely random, or something completely relevant to where you are or your current task. You can ALWAYS meditate more. And by “meditation”, I don’t mean sitting on a pillow, making O.K. signs with your hands and breathing in certain patterns. You could do it in your office, in class, at lunch or in bed… preferably all of those places. As long as you’re thinking to yourself, you are meditating by my definition. Force yourself to meditate. You’ll be surprised how good you’ll feel. But don’t meditate negatively. If you catch yourself focusing on something negative, realize it and search for a “bright side” of your negative thought, or completely change the track your mind is on.

Consider Space: Think Deep

If you’re able to have deep thoughts, you’ll start having epiphanies; you’ll gather wisdom from yourself. I do this many times when I meditate, but I also like to have conversations about deep concepts with my friends. It helps to trigger deep thoughts by doing abnormal things- new things. Visit new places and participate in activities you’ve never participated in before. The thought process will occur naturally if you do new things. Before you know it you’ll look at yourself and wonder how you got to become such a philosopher. If you’re a person who lacks confidence, then thinking deep is one of the greatest ways to gain some. Regardless of if you are or not, you’ll feel wiser than everyone else after a session of heavy thinking.

Record and Share Yourself

Write it down, draw it, make it, record it, capture it and then share it. Don’t force your personal records on anyone, but make sure to be open about them. Be open to the right people about even the most personal (maybe shameful) properties of your recordings. Don’t hurt anyone- The right people. But be open and analyze any feedback you receive. The more feedback you receive, the better off you are. Understand any feedback can be wrong, BUT the wrong feedback is equally important. You’ll realize what I’m talking about more when it happens.

Again, I don’t know why I wrote it this way, but please know that I’m not an asshole, and that is how I think and not how you have to!

42

2010-03-01T14:46:00.001-08:00

The number 42 is everywhere. I understand I'm probably just looking for it, but I'm telling you. JUST everywhere!

Discussing facebook - What is it with facebook!?

2010-03-01T14:42:00.000-08:00

“Facebook helps you connect and share with the people in your life.”

“Facebook's mission is to give people the power to share and make the world more open and connected. Millions of people use Facebook everyday to keep up with friends, upload an unlimited number of photos, share links and videos, and learn more about the people they meet.”

The above are direct quotations from the facebook website login page and about page.

There are in fact countless “social networking” websites that share similar mission statements and have almost no draw. The DRAW that facebook has, is that everyone is on it! It’s a media snowball that has simply picked up enough snow to be attractive.

There are all different kinds of people, and the success of facebook is in part due to its ability to cater to all kinds. To be specific, there are private people, and there are public people. There are introverts and extroverts. There are artists, musicians and writers, and there are athletes, representatives and free-spirits. Facebook doesn’t turn anyone off, and supplies something for everyone. The reason it feels as though there is something for everyone, is largely because facebook stays broad. It stays gray. It allows you to platform yourself with groups, events, and fan pages (all for free), and for those skeptical people, it provides an intricate set of privacy options. However, there are no flashy words or defining qualities that come with each option. You, the individual, can have full control of your identity. Take creating a group for example: you choose the name, the information, who your “officers” are, whether the group is closed or open- there are multiple categories you can choose from to define what kind of group it is, you choose the picture… you are the artist, and all facebook is, is a blank canvas. HOWEVER, it is a blank canvas that has promise. It is a blank canvas that you know will be easily able to be seen by many people after it is painted. That is the DRAW.

Another draw is the “podium effect”. The “podium effect” is a term I made up that I use to describe the feeling of security a person gets when they are standing behind a podium. To elaborate, facebook is used in a very private setting- usually, just one individual sitting at their computer, and that’s it! People who use facebook are generally in a comfortable, safe environment while they are logged on. Even though hundreds, sometimes thousands of people can view a person’s status or personal information, it still SEEMS less intimidating. People (sometimes secretly) love to express themselves, but there are abundant amounts of social phobias that many times hold people back. Facebook helps to cut out these phobias by providing a “podium”, and of course the unlimited time to creatively think and prepare what the user is going to put forth into the “public eye of facebook”. It’s kind of like getting to stand in front of a huge audience and show them who you are and what you believe in, but without having to actually look out and see them or hear them cheer or boo you.

Facebook is also undeniably easy. Getting back to the actual mission statement, it does in fact give individuals the access to keeping in touch with people, and it’s easy! And finding them is easy too, because the search options are broken down into a person’s name, location, networks and even mutual friends. But the underlining rationale remains: everyone is on facebook! People will just assume they will be able to find the person they are looking for on facebook. It is just ASSUMED. Of course, facebook wasn’t always how it is today- it started off just like any other social networking website, with only a few members and being fairly pointless. It was the snowball effect, and their ability to avoid haters and legal matters along the way (because of their countless privacy options and well written disclaimers) that made it successful. Now that it is, the reason it is, is because it is. And because of that, there is no stopping it.

First Blog

2010-03-01T14:23:00.000-08:00

I am going to blog. I am going to. I just am. I started this mostly to use as a journal for the film I am about to start production on. I figured it would be good for myself and maybe (even if slightly) help to promote the film. However, in making it (the blog), I realized that I didn't want to leave it closed to only talking about the film. I guess I just finally gave into my wanting to just talk and talk about my life and my opinions.

Gah, I've written one paragraph and I already hate this. But nope. I am doing it. I'm going to do it.

I'll tell you what I hate. Cynics and critics. And I'm just going to break so many of my own stupid personal rules by doing this blog. I am going to just say so many dumb things on here, I know it.

Then again, whatever.

We'll just see how it goes.

A Statement

2010-03-01T14:08:00.000-08:00

I have had big ideas, asked people to help me achieve them, listened to them tell me why the ideas wouldn’t work, went on to follow through with them anyway without their help, succeeded, and then received congratulations from the same people that laughed in my face. Life would be a lot easier if there was more optimism. What’s good is that I think I have enough for everybody.